oh man i have a few good ones up my sleeve
(warning, offensive words ahead)
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.
getting fuked by Sans ah!....YES SANS!!!~~ sans: I'mma take you to the bon zoen ram hard till he hits my good spot and I bleed alot AHHHHHH!!! HARDER SANSPAI papyrus waks in and put his d inside emy mouth mmmmm tastes like spaghetti~~~~~ I lick his meatballs mmm delishhh~~ sans and papy moan loud both: Ahh yes~~~ Soooooooo tight (#'~'#) I moan but can't cause papy dick in my mouth mmmffff they both blow they're plasma seman inside me till I feel like I over eat both: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I then pee pee all over sans wee wee sans: wellp I gues i I made wet papyrusbs screams papyrus: AGHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh snands stop it sans: ha ha ha je je
my fnaf rap
YO YO YO listen up to my new rap! I just got a freddy hat!
(HOT GIRL SINGING) oH YeAhhhh ITS FREDDY FAZBEARS PIZZA! WHEN YOU GET SOME PIZZA! AND A BIG. PIECE. OF ASSSSSS! awesome music plays
Me: ya my name is rappa 3000 and ill tel ya da story of fredy pizzaria with a freddy goldy and a hot foxy fucking chica all day long, With a hudge dong, And den the security guard named chonged put his dong in BONNIE!
girl takes off shirt and sings OH YEAAAAAAHHH ITS FREDDY FAZBER PIZZZAAA! WHEN U GET SOME PIZZA AND A. BIG. PIECE. OF. QSS
me strokes dong mmmm ya its fredy fazber pizza with huge dongs and blongs and bongs and frogsssss! with scary sexy animatrons!
THE END!'
LEAF A LIKE IF YOU ENJOYED!
If I find out one of these furries raped my girlfriend, I will cut off his dick, roast it in his crushed testicle liquids, and force feed it to him. After that, I'll drill his knees, elbows, ankles, and wrists. Then, I'll yank his toe, and finger nails out, with pliers. After that, I'll scalp him while he's still awake. Then, I'll lock him in a cage with a pissed of gorilla. For the record, yes, I am nuts.
I'm more educated than you, in every way shape and form. Also more intelligent than you (exponentially so). I am better than you, in every facet of life, and I don't even know you, however, I just know, that I am. Also, we aren't bro's. If anything, you are someone I assign less value and worth than my own feces. Your life has no value, and you will make no contribution to this world, in your entire life, because of your low intelligence, and lack of skills. How does that feel, you fucking bottom denominator. go back to you vegan subreddit to fill your useless void of a life, pretending it means anything. Am I a narcissist? I don't know, I am a fucking God. I will, do, and have succeeded in every facet of life. I have done more, in this year alone, than you will have achieved before you leave this world... let that sink in. You have no fucking clue who you are talking to. I am so vastly superior, and intelligent, that I can infer all of this, with 100% accuracy. You are like a fucking ant, and I am a GOD. You do not even fly on my radar, let alone get acknowledgement, from the likes of me. I know you can sense my superiority, my power, my intelligence,and you are trying to pretend you don't feel it, its real. To conclude, go back to fucking yourself, you meaningless water-trash bottom feeding peasant.
No. No. You just wait a FUCKING SECOND. What the fuck did you just call me? WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST CALL ME? I'll have you know I'm a yaoi fangirl and PROUD. You don't INSULT me. And by the way, no. No, it's not "gay." Do you even KNOW where that came from? Japan. "GAY" CAME FROM JAPAN. THE PROPER TERM FOR "GAY" IS YAOI. Just because I'm eleven doesn't mean that I can't be a perv. I'm mature. I write yaoi fanfiction. I have many people who like my yaoi posts on fanfiction.net and deviantART. I read yaoi every day. Yaoi is my life. I couldn't live without yaoi. I would die without it. I know everything about yaoi sex. I'M NOT STUPID. I read my first doujinshi when I was ten. I'm NOT like the other kids, SO STOP SAYING THAT I AM. I'm sick of it. I'm so fucking sick of all of it. I'll have you know that I knew what a penis does when I was NINE FUCKING YEARS OLD. NINE. I WAS FUCKING NINE. I BET YOU DIDN'T KNOW WHAT A PENIS WAS WHEN YOU WERE NINE. I type with proper grammar, and you don't. You aren't better than me. You don't even use the right word for yaoi. It's not gay. Do your research. By the way, gay porn is disgusting. It's nothing like yaoi and it's unrealistic, and gross. The ukes are usually not even shorter than the seme. It's disgusting. Fuck all of you. I'm eleven and I'm not "stupid" because I actually know the origin of yaoi and you don't. Fuck you. Fuck off
iPhone is the best console, and nobody could ever fucking speak against it. When I first got an iPhone, I was so excited that I wouldn't be trashy anymore. I got so many friends with the iPhone 5C's stunning colors and sexyness, and that isn't even half of it. It has over 30 GB worth of data. I was able to store, if I recall, 10,000 photos and it would only take up 4 gigabytes. It would play games that would seem laggy to a console and turn it into a lagless portable experience. I am a true fucking gamer, I play Angry Birds, Fruit Ninja, Flappy Bird, and Clash of Clans daily, I can message friends and stay up to date, I can talk to people with my face and always remember how my friends looked like, I can take endless photos with no worry about using data, and I could browse infinite pages of the internet, which a shitty console can't do. The PC, Wii, PS4, and Xbox 1 can't do any of this shit. Compete with that, consoletards. Also, nice trolling fucko, with you're not including you're fucking iPhone, get your facts strate Android fuckers.
I used to masturbate onto birds at a local park. Not a thing that I'm particularly proud of but I became quite good at it. I was taking zinc supplements so I was shooting massive loads and it became something of a sport to me. For anyone interested here is your best strategy. first, you need to find an isolated spot so you don't become a sex offender. I found a short kind of channel area where I saw the pigeons would congregate. Next, you arouse yourself. I was usually content with envisioning the occasional jogging lady coming over and taking a shit on my chest and that was enough to fuel the fire but if you're not as sexually charged as me just take some porn on the go. After you're good an horny, you get some bread. My pigeons preferred white bread but healthier birds might have a taste for honey wheat or maybe even multigrain. Fat, unhealthy birds are slower and easier to hit so remember that. Once you are seated on the bench and ready to do the deed, whip your roosevelt out and scatter bread out within a few feet of you. use your judgement based on how far you know you can cum. I was a lonely and depraved soul who could hit targets the size of a thimble at distances up to 4 feet. You wait for the pigeons to begin eating and to get comfortable with your presence. At this point, you want to coo gently and talk sensually to them to gain their trust. Now you're finally ready to cum on your bird. This is a tough part because the rapid motion of masturbation is very frightening to the birds, so you have to be subtle. Once you master a technique, you simply wind it up and let it go, aiming depending on your past cumming experiences. I always came high so I would aim for the neck of the bird and catch it right in the face. It's an extremely satisfying and erotic feeling, seeing those birds reel around covered in cum and maybe even transporting it to other places in the city. Either way I haven't done it in years but every now and then I catch myself gazing wistfully at a flock of birds, cock throbbing and waiting for them to land close to me.
forgive english, i am Russia. i come to study clothing and fashion at American university. i am here little time and i am very hard stress. i am gay also and this very difficult for me, i am very religion person. i never act to be gay with other men before. but after i am in america 6 weeks i am my friend together he is gay also. He was show me American fashion and then we are kiss. wWe sex together. I never before now am tell my mother about gay because i am very shame. As i fock this American boy it is very good to me but also i am feel so guilty. I feel extreme guilty as I begin orgasm. I feel so guilty that I pick up my telephone and call Mother in Russia. I awaken her. It too late for stopping so I am cumming sex. I am very upset and guilty and crying, so I yell her, "I AM CUM FROM SEX" (in Russia). She say what? I say "I AM CUM FROM SEX" and she say you boy, do not marry American girl, and I say "NO I AM CUM FROM SEX WITH MAN, I AM IN ASS, I CUM IN ASS" and my mother very angry me. She not get scared though. I hang up phone and am very embarrass. My friend also he is very embarrass. I am guilt and feel very stupid. I wonder, why do I gay with man? But I continue because when it spurt it feel very good in American ass.
does the longest dab while doing a back flip while spinning a fidget spinner while bottle flipping while singing everyday bro while playing roblox while sleeping while eating cats and dogs while watching the emoji movie while smoking a blunt while dancing while watching hentai while having a party with the minions singing we are number one in the background and the hotdog meme dances next to us with an 1000 degree burning knife while texting with 🅱s while stealing memes while watching epic minecraft pranks while watching roblox porn while watching pewdiepie's epic livestream while microwaving toys while buying drugs while leg dabbing while watching the new spongebob episode while dancing with jacob sartorius while petting animals while doing a social experiment that has gone wrong and gone sexual while being in the LGBT+ community while doing a react video of kids react to the entire bee movie but everytime they pronounce a letter it switches to a man not keeping his dick in his pants while he has his mask off while ordering boneless pizza while leaking leafy's nudes while watching dramaalert while eating grapes while fapping while watching fireflies memes while humping pillows while listening to earrape music while watching while ordering a 2 liter coke while drinking boneless water while watching cringe compilations while doing stunts while having sex with my roblox girlfriend while waking a loss meme and saying buenos dias mandy while doing understandable things and having a good day while eating flaming hot cheetos and takis while telling people to kys while being an edgy furry emo brony communist nazi grandson of Hitler while fapping to poop fetishes and 2 girls 1 cup while making slime while having a daddy kink while hacking people's roblox accounts while being suicidal while having a foot fetish while making animation memes but end up being in an animation meme cringe comp while listening to vaporwave while trolling kids in call of duty while being an sjw feminazi on tumblr who hate cis white men and get triggered really easily while screaming have a bowl mr squidward and passing it to him only to have it fall on the floor and smash like smash or pass while being an epic weeaboo who watches filthy frank videos and has a hentai profile picture and says "nyaa" and "rawr xd" and hates people who says they're a weeaboo when they're not
((( and they love japan while whispering who is that lesbian and how tight is her pussy as the autistic girl she is with her big otaku dildo while masturbating and sucking anime husbando dick while putting her otaku dildo up her ass while vomiting rainbows while having a threesome with the dog filter on and saying it is not a phase while her mom catches her and breaks her xbox and playstation and kicks her out of the house with her anime husbando and the 3 other guys and wakes up and realizes everything was just a dream and nothing was real with relief she reads fanfictions while humping her anime husbando body pillow and making a G+ logo meme and those pass/drink this [blank] if [blank] while eating pineapple pizza while posting those long rainbow posts in communities but fails and gets a shit ton of "you failed" comments and deletes it and cries and automatically becomes depressed and deletes her account but a few hours later her depression is gone and comes on g+ posting "hey guys what did i miss?" and turns out there was a followers purge and a notification purge and a glitch that only lasted like 10 minutes so there are so many stars on her feed as well as the do you remember the Christian girl posts and some spam and goes on searching on g+ for a boyfriend because she's lonely and needs love and after hours and hours or searching she finds one but it turns out to be a 6 year old minecraft player who like mlg memes and plays call of duty 24/7 and drink mt dew and breaks up with him and cries because she can't find one so she searches again but gets tired and takes a nap after that 5 hour nap she posts "hehe sorry guys for not posting i was asleep" then scrolls and scrolls on g+ until she has an idea. she posts those "like if you have a crush on me" post and gets one like and that one like was a kid who's username was "XxRawrGamerxX" and asks him out and they get in a relationship and then they lived happily ever after BUT rawr gamer was actually the 6 year old's alt account and comments on her post saying "LOOOL GET REKT I WAS THE 6 YEAR OLD YOU WERE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH A FEW HOURS AGO" and then the girl cries and drinks bleach and dies. the end.
Ok so I am ultimately PISSED OFF RIGHT NOW because my STUPID INSENSITIVE BIGOT OF A SCIENCE TEACHER WON'T COVER THE SKELETON IN OUR CLASSROOM!!!! ive told him THOUSANDS of TIMES that i have severe anxiety from sans and ive actually developed ptsd from the sans fight and i have to carry around an inhaler everywhere i go now because when i see bones or the color blue i start hyperventilating because of panic then if i don't take my inhaler it turns into a ptsd episode and i already had to be sent home 3 TIMES BECAUSE THE SKELETON IN MY SCIENCE CLASS TRIGGERED ME!!!!! AND HE WON'T COVER IT!!!!!!!!! like?
?? i don't know what to do ive tried talking about it to the councilors but they said my condition isnt real?
like um YEAH IT IS??? i would know?
?? cause i wake up screaming and in tears each night because i have a reaccuring nightmare where SANS TELLS ME I'M GOING TO HAVE A BAD TIME THEN HE HAS THE FUCKING DECENCY TO TELL ME I'VE DIED TEN TIMES, AND THAT I HAVE NO FRIENDS!! YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THAT FUCKING TRIGGERS ME?
? and it just PISSES ME OFF how the school doesn't even CARE THAT I AM ON THE BRINK OF ODING BECAUSE OF THIS!!!
YALL NEED THE LORD IN YOUR LIFE
FOR GOD SAID IN GENISIS 42;69 TO LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOUR EXCEPT FOR WHEN HE LIKES TAKING BIG DICKS UP THE ASS
THIS JUST PROVES MY THEORY THAT ROBLOX IS SATAN'S GAME AND IS BRAINWASHING YOUNG MINDS TO SPPORT THE FAG AGENDA
FUCK YUR MODERATING RULES YOU DON’T MAKE THE RULES GOD MAKES THE RULES AND THE ONLY RULES THAT I LISTEN TO ARE THE ONES I HAVE CHERRY PICKED FROM THE BIBLE AND THE ART OF THE DEAL
DON’T TREAD ON ME
schlap schlap (sound of my titties hitting the bars on my minecraft jail) let me out! let me ooout!!!
I was in science class when a call came into our sub, I won't forget the look on her face when she looked up and told us that club panguin was gone. After that everyone started talking about it and those who knew those who were still online frantically checked there phones to see if anyones peinguin made it out alive. I personally do not know anyone who was on the server when it shut down but I feel sorry for those who do.
this is my favourite
You know what? There's surprisingly a lot less anal sex in super smash brothers than I thought there would be. In a game called Super Smash Brothers, you'd think there would be a lot of that. During my childhood, that's all my brothers did was having anal sex with each other. So when I got this game for the first time, I was pretty surprised everyone was beating each other up, instead of beating each other off. The amount of woman in this game was off putting too... There just wasn't enough dicks being thrown around in this Nintendo game